Friday, February 13, 2015

White people dancing

For the last few months, I have been collecting evidence that white people can dance in an effort to silence my INCREDIBLY RACIST cubicle neighbor, Ruth Sego. She believes that white people simply cannot dance, to which I cry, 'Bunkum!

I have refrained from busting a move in the office, as I don't want to drive the ladies wild with sexual desire and plunge the men into envious despair, but I have collected many wonderful exhibits for the defence. I present below the top three:

Friday, February 06, 2015

The writing advice you never knew you needed, and probably still don't need but are getting anyway


I’m not one for giving writing advice. There is so much out there already, what works for one person does not for another, and I'm not exactly Kurt Vonnegut. However, when an aspiring writer recently wrote to me for advice, I found I had some to give.

The little voice in her head that told her she was a bad writer was crippling her, she was stressing about how and where to write, she could not stop herself editing the few words she had put down on paper, and she was afraid to develop her ideas in case she couldn’t do them justice. Essentially, she had contracted every strain of the virulent disease known as writer's block.

That was exactly me six years ago.

When I wrote back, I realized that I have since developed very concrete methods for shaking off the writing doldrums. My way will not work for everyone, but I figured I may as well share it in the off-chance it helps break the writing deadlock for anybody who cares to read it. Please note that this is not about how to improve the quality of your writing. This is simply the method I have developed to make myself productive.