Monday, July 28, 2014

Winners of the Wannabes draw

Last night, I stripped down to my barbed-wire underpants, suspended a severed human finger from my nipple ring (left) and gyrated spastically over a list of names. The cracked fingernail scratched ominously upon the following individuals, marking them out as the next victims of my murder spree … sorry, I meant winners of a free Wannabes ebook.

Please email your home address, movement patterns (particularly when you are likely to be alone and inattentive in dark corners) and any weaknesses in your security systems to to claim your prize*. I will deliver it when you least expect it. I hope it brings you release. 

*I genuinely need your email address so I can privately send a download code to get it for free. You don't really need to send me your home address.

Niccolo Capanni
Emma O’Flaherty
Richard Harris
Lindsay Conway
Neil McCormack
Glen Forbes
Alexander Ikawah
Stuart Twyman
Steve Butterworth
Kirsteen Smith
Jody Bilyj
Danslovejuice (it's a twitter handle, so don't blame me)
K Castillo
Rev Glynn
Juliet Muriuki
Aleya Kassam
Frank Zsigo
Janis Tafoya
Ubah Hassan
James Hilton

Jeannette Walton

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