Tuesday, October 14, 2014

World War Moo cover

We have a cover for World War Moo, thanks to the fabulous design team at St. Martin's Press.

I love it. It's even more eye-catching than the Apocalypse Cow cover.




Thursday, July 31, 2014

Where my ideas come from

I'm often asked where I get my ideas for stories, and my usual answer is a shrug of the shoulders and an uncomfortable glance at the ground. If I seem a little shifty on these occasions, it's because I am unable to provide a satisfactory answer. My best response is 'everywhere and nowhere, from observing life and making random connections between seemingly unconnected events'.

If somebody were to ask me today, however, I would have a very different response. From dreams.

This morning, I woke up at 5am with a fragment of a dream still in my mind, and I knew instantly it was a great idea for a novel. Obviously I don't want to give anything away in case anybody nicks it, but I sat up for the next hour to turn this sliver delivered up by my unconscious mind into an initial outline for a book that promises to be very dark indeed.

I almost didn't do it. I was so tired that the temptation was to go back to sleep. Fortunately, I had a notebook and pen by the side of my bed and scribbled down a few lines, which woke me up enough to get to the computer.

I do wonder what would have happened if that notebook wasn't there. Perhaps I would have gone back to bed and woken up in a few hours with no memory of the dream. I'm glad I didn't. It just goes to show that ideas can come to you anywhere at any time and from any source. So keep your notebook or voice recorder handy!

First review of Wannabes is in

It's always nerve-wracking, the wait for the first review of a new book. You obviously think your new novel is a work of genius, but alas others don't always concur. Fortunately, the first review of Wannabes is now in and it's a belter.

This is a double relief, as the fact I self-published this book made me nervous about the prospects of getting any reviews at all.

If any reviewers are reading this, feel free to contact me at freelancelogan@fastmail.co.uk for a review copy.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Buy Apocalypse Cow, get Wannabes free

From now until the end of August 2014, I will be running a promotion to get two of my books for the price of one. Buy a copy of Apocalypse Cow in any format during this period, and you will receive a free ebook of my new novel, Wannabes.

To claim your ebook, send proof of purchase to freelancelogan@fastmail.co.uk, and I will email you a download code for your free book.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Winners of the Wannabes draw

Last night, I stripped down to my barbed-wire underpants, suspended a severed human finger from my nipple ring (left) and gyrated spastically over a list of names. The cracked fingernail scratched ominously upon the following individuals, marking them out as the next victims of my murder spree … sorry, I meant winners of a free Wannabes ebook.

Please email your home address, movement patterns (particularly when you are likely to be alone and inattentive in dark corners) and any weaknesses in your security systems to freelancelogan@fastmail.co.uk to claim your prize*. I will deliver it when you least expect it. I hope it brings you release. 

*I genuinely need your email address so I can privately send a download code to get it for free. You don't really need to send me your home address.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Wannabes is now on sale

My second novel, Wannabes, is now available to buy as an ebook. To celebrate, I’m giving away twenty copies. In order to enter the random draw, please spread the news on your blog, Twitter or Facebook and send me an email at freelancelogan@fastmail.co.uk to let me know you have done so. I’ll draw the winners on July 28 and send a code for the free download.

The book (and sample chapters) is currently available on Amazon UK and US, as well as all the other country stores, and through iBooks. It is also available in all ebook formats through Smashwords. The price is $3 or the currency equivalent. You can get it for the Nook from Barnes and Noble and will soon be on sale through Kobo and other ebook stores.

If you are on Goodreads, you can add the book here.

Also, don't forget that the release date for Apocalypse Cow: World War Moo has been set as 9 June 2015. Put it in your calendar!

Wannabes

Celebrities are mobbing London's laser clinics as a deranged wannabe bumps off A-listers, believing he can absorb their powers and become famous by taping their tattoos to his body.

Washed-up pop star Jackie Thunder isn’t joining the stampede. Jackie figures that if he can get on the killer’s hit list, without the inconvenience of being murdered, he’ll gain the publicity needed to reignite his career.

But there’s more at stake than Jackie can possibly imagine. His desperate ploy for attention plunges him into the heart of a decades-old demonic plot to destroy great music through murder, mayhem and manipulation.

With humanity’s collective soul at stake, how far will Jackie go to reach the top?


Friday, June 20, 2014

Two books on the way

As you may know by now, the sequel to Apocalypse Cow is on its way. Entitled Apocalypse Cow: World War Moo, it will be released by St. Martin's Press in mid-2015. Full details will emerge in good time.

However, I can reveal that Geldof and Lesley will be back - along with some new characters - as we embark on an adventure involving combat yoga, ferocious Noel Edmonds lookalikes, and cow bombs in an infected Britain about to be obliterated by an all-out international offensive.

To fill the gap in the meantime (it has been over two years since Apocalypse Cow first came out), I will be releasing an eBook in the next few months. You can read the blurb and first three chapters of this book, Wannabes, below.

The cover, final release date, and links to buy will be unveiled over the next few weeks. If any book bloggers want a review copy, drop me a line through the contacts page on my website, and I'll send you a DRM-free eBook once the final edits and design elements are completed (likely mid-July).


Wannabes

I want my children to listen to people who fucking rocked. I don’t care if they died in puddles of their own vomit. I want someone who plays from his fucking heart - Bill Hicks

Celebrities are mobbing London's laser clinics as a deranged wannabe bumps off A-listers, believing he can absorb their powers and become famous by taping their tattoos to his body.

Washed-up pop star Jackie Thunder isn’t joining the stampede. Jackie figures that if he can get on the killer’s hit list, without going so far as being murdered, of course, he’ll gain the publicity needed to reignite his career.

But there’s more at stake than Jackie can possibly imagine. His desperate ploy for attention plunges him into the heart of a decades-old demonic plot to destroy great music through murder, mayhem and manipulation.

With humanity’s collective soul at stake, just how far will Jackie go to reach the top?

Read the first three chapters here.

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Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Back in a flash

It's been a while since I've written flash fiction. 250 words doesn't leave much wiggle room to tell a story, but it's a lot of fun to be back as I get something ready for the Bridport Prize

My last flash won the Fish Publishing Flash Fiction Prize, so at least I have some previous form in the form and may be in with an outside shout. You never know with these prizes, as you have to get through two layers of reader before the final judge even sees your work, so you are dealing with three different sets of literary taste buds.

What I am remembering is that every word is crucial. With the last story, I spent weeks scrutinizing, swapping and fiddling, down to the point where I changed one word about ten times. My planned Bridport entry is now fully written and within the word count, but I am definitely getting out the fine-mesh strainer to refine it over the course of this week.

Anyway, you can read my previous winner here if you have two minutes to spare to see just how tight you have to be.

Tuesday, May 06, 2014

Unmasking Richard Crompton, The PUNisher

Richard Crompton, and his agent and publishers, would have you believe he is a serious author. He did after all write The Honey Guide, a gritty and literary detective novel set in Nairobi. Said novel has indeed been longlisted for the Theakston Old Peculier Crime Novel of the Year. And it was shortlisted for an LA Times award that was eventually won by JK Rowling in authorial drag. And lots of serious people, including Ian Rankin, have said serious things about it in serious newspapers

I am here to crack about that fa├žade, for the man is undoubtedly the worst punner in human history.

My publisher and I have been kicking around possible titles for the Apocalypse Cow follow-up. Innocently, I asked Richard Crompton if he had any thoughts. What followed in a string of text messages spanning 24 hours displays exactly the depths of verbal depravity this so-called ‘serious’ author is prepared to plumb.

Below I give you his list of suggested titles. Be warned: the groans you issue may well rupture several internal organs.


From Steer to Eternity
The (British) Empire Strikes Yak
Apocalypse Cow 2: Look Who’s Porking
The Sound of Moo Sick
Apocalypse Cow 2: Raising the Steaks
The Tripes of Wrath
Fiddler on the Hoof
For Whom the Cowbell Tolls
The Ruminants of the Day
Two Cows and One: A Space Cuddessy
Cowering Inferno
Episode Moo: A Moo Hope
A Moo to a Kill
Styfall
A Beef History of Time
The Lives of Udders
Tomorrow Heifer Dies
Carlitos’ Whey
Requiem for a Cream

Tuesday, March 04, 2014

Welcome to reality, folks



While this Guardian article on writers struggling in a constricting publishing industry is well-intentioned, they probably could have picked better examples than Rupert Thomson and Joanna Kavenna. 

Thomson’s hardship is that he has to stop renting an office on the South Bank and must now build a garret in his London home to work. Kavenna once received a ‘low six-figure advance’ on two books, but now laments that between 2007 and 2010 ‘everything changed’.

Now, I don’t want to say these writers are not in a pickle in the changing publishing environment. An advance of 100k is not as much as it sounds given that this is paid out in chunks and is likely to represent the author’s only income for a few years. However, these two are not representative of the vast majority of writers. Both of them have been able to write fiction full-time, a luxury most authors do not have and have not had for a very long time.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Apocalypse Cow sequel on the way

I am chuffed to announce that St Martin's Press has acquired world rights to the sequel to Apocalypse Cow, tentatively called Cruel Britannia. It will most likely be out in Spring/Summer 2015.

Some old characters will be back (in the shit) and some new faces will crop up. Details will be revealed further down the line.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The challenge of writing comedy-horror

When I wrote Apocalypse Cow, I had never written comedy-horror before. In fact, I didn’t even know I was writing comedy-horror until that is how it came to be defined post-publication. So, now that I am a retrospective expert in this tiny field, I’ve realized what a fine line an author has to tread when mixing the silly and the scary.