Friday, April 07, 2006

To all you tongue rollers

This message is directed at all the tongue-rollers in the bar last night, and in fact to every self-satisfied tongue-roller out there: STOP BEING SO SMUG!

What is it that makes people so insufferably happy about being able to roll their tongues? Let's face it: it's an absolutely useless skill. OK, I could see the point if you became quadraplegic and had to hold a pen with your curly little appendage, or if you had to cling onto a twig to prevent yourself from falling off a cliff, but it just isn't a skill to get too proud about.

I am a flat-tongue and I can do everything you can: lick stamps, talk (which is considered by many to be a bad thing) and make faces at small children.

So why did the nurse at school feel it necessary to come into class and make everybody see if they could do it? Couldn't she have perhaps done it in a private room? She didn't have to suffer the indignity of being taunted for her inability to curl. She didn't have to sit quietly in the corner at playtime while all the other kids ran merrily around with their curly little tongues in the air. She didn't have her tongue stapled to the desk when teacher wasn't looking.

If you are reading this Nurse Twaddle, I hope you feel very, very ashamed of yourself.

I only hope the day will come when flat and curlies can live in harmony together without this elitist hierachy. Until then, I'm keeping my mouth shut.


June said...

Isn't it bad enough being ginger? How many chips can one guy have on his shoulder?

Michael said...

I've got room for a whole potato plantation up there, never mind a few random chips.

Derek said...

How could they tell if your tongue was roled or not, did they have a magnifying glass?