OK, you asked for it, so you're going to get it. Actually, you didn't ask for it, but you're going to get it anyway.
I've just realised that I am very bored with the fiction I have been trying to write, and I have been grasped with enthusiasm for Forget the Cud, We Want Blood.
As a result, I have begun work on the first chapter of a work I truly believe will come to rival such masterpieces as War and Peace, The Old Man and the Sea, and Crime and Punishment.
This magnificent novella will be exclusively serialised on this website, and will be the first work to deal with not only the human condition, but the bovine condition.
Marvel as the cows strike back and develop a taste for human flesh!
Tremble as civilisation as we know it bends to the will of bloodthirsty cattle!
Dare to hope as a small band of unwashed, sandal-wearing hippy throwbacks grapple with their consciences and attempt to secure the future of mankind by throwing off their love of tofu, quorn and other tasteless meat substitutes!
All of this will be yours for free, starting as soon as I finish the first chapter.